"I wanna say something. I'm gonna put it out there, if you like it you take it, if you don't, send it right back. I want to be on you." - Ron Burgandy

Damn this sucks ass... it is 6:41am and I'm still up. I didn't sleep Wed, Thurs, or Friday night. Sat came and I passed out for like 15 hours and now back to my dysfunctional routine.

So far tonight I've managed to watch Super Troopers, The 40 Year Old Virgin, Wedding Crashers, Jaws, The Constant Gardner, and Crash. Some of you might thing this is the cause of my sleep deprivation, but actually I just sit there in the dark or I do something constructive.

This week should be interesting as my boss in in LA for his "Video Dorks" convention and I'm the only one in the office so I actually have to do stuff this week. Tuesday I've got the Harlem Globetrotters, Wednesday I have National Signing Day and then the Men's BBall game against KSU. Maybe it is just me, but I really don't find the Harlem Globetrotters that entertaining... they spin the ball on their finger, bounce it off guy’s heads and do some dunks. Personally I would rather watch paint dry. Ok maybe that is extreme, but I literally find it boring as hell.

I'm watching the extra's on 40 Year Old Virgin right now... there is the Date-A-Palozza and this is some funny stuff. This one lady said she would rather have sex with shards of glass or eat a bowl of human fecal matter, but my favorite one was "the cadence of your voice made my uterus drop out"... She has some issues obviously, that is some damn funny stuff.

Well I'm going to go to work now so I can get all my crap done early.

Life is about people. It's about connections. It's not about these rusty trombones, and these dirty sanchez, and these cincinnati bowties" - Mooj

Ok tonight was very interesting cause all I remember is going to a bar to meet a few people and the next thing I remember was picking my ass off the floor of an apartment I swear I've never been in. It makes one wonder what in the hell happened. Course being in the state I was I wasn't the most stealth person in the world and actually ran into a door. I open the door and see a familiar face so at least I hadn't just passed out some place. The drive back to my house was fun; a freaking cop tailed me literally the entire way home. I didn't make the same mistake this time though because I waited till I got home to "expel" anything. Previously I had decided to pull off to the side of the highway and pulled a Tommy Boy except I didn't have someone trying to drive away while I was doing it.

Enough making fun of myself, even though I'm sure there are some that relish in the faults of others and you know what I have to say to that? Damn it is fun huh.

Well right now it is a bit after 5am and I can't sleep as if I shut my eyes my stomach seems to start going like a freaking dryer. Today is not going to be a good day at all... I have to be outside almost the whole day setting up stuff at a stadium. I guess that will help me get rid of my newly discovered Irish heritage... damn I got pale all of a sudden.

The other day I went into a Kwik Shop and decided to get a root beer for old time’s sake... also asking for a small paper bag to place it in. I had myself a damn good laugh after I walked out the door and I'm sure those around me were thinking to themselves "what in the hell is wrong with this guy?" Well there was a purpose and I'll go ahead and tell you. When I was probably like 8 or 9 Jack and I decided that we wanted to act like winos and stumble home and see if we could convince anyone that we were drunk. Man we were so ahead of the times it wasn't even funny. We added elements to it as we went like candy cigs and etc. Strangely enough one time in college we actually walked there from Jack's place and walked back... I guess we were merely foreshadowing what was to come in the future.

Well I'm hopefully I pass out here soon because I feel like crap and want to check out.

Word mofo's... word.

"Public news has taken a break from it's pledge drive to kick some ass... No commercials, NO MERCY!" - Tim Robbins

Well today was an interesting day... I got up at noon because I didn't have to work today (had to take my dad to Baylor Med in Dallas). He had a second spinal surgery and this time he can't believe all that he can feel. He has stenosis so he can pinch nerves and almost paralyze himself just by moving. This opened the column and also they put some type of stuff in the small vertabre so that the nerves never moved and he wouldn't ever have problems again. Hell they told him in 6-8 months he would be able to play golf every weekend. He hasn't been able to play since he pinched it so bad he dropped to the ground and lost all feeling below his waist for a bit. Other than the emense pain he seems to be thrilled with the results.

So the day started out terrific and strangely enough the car ride was actually entertaining as hell. I took part in what I call my father's Fire Side Chats, but he also managed to throw in some good stuff. By far my favorite one was when he was talking about some Dutch dude that worked for him at Hill's back in the day. This guy was supposed to have a new pricing plan so they could submit it to their guys the day after my Dad arrived. He told him that "I could have done it before you got her, but I figured we should do it as a team instead of worrying about what you thought of what I did." My dad hides anger very well, but apparently he told the guy something along the line of "Excuse me? You are what I call a foot soldier, you are not supposed to worry about the bullets wizzing by your head, the only time you need to worry is when you don't hear the f*****g wizzing. Now get your ass up and take that hill or I'll find someone who will take it and leave your ass along the trail." I dont' think I've ever laughed so damn hard in my life at something my father told me.

Next came our discussion of some of his retired friends claiming that they should all get work as Wal-Mart greeters due to their "people" skills. This has been an ongoing joke for a few years and my dad loves to add reasons why he would be fired the first day. His favorite one is if he saw a woman/man who was way way way beyond overweight he would tell them "weight loss products are in the back" before they could say anything to him... claims it would get him canned that very instant. I couldn't help, but laugh.

I went in to work at about 8pm when I got back because I did have somethings I needed to do. I needed to get a ton of footage for Marisa so that she can submit her commentary and etc stuff from volleyball season to ESPN (they seem to love her and said she has a great chance of getting the job... so that's great for her). We also have a basketball game tomorrow so I had to do some stuff for that too. I got home at about 2am and now I'm writing in this thing because I told myself I can't put the huge gap (about 3 months) between posts like last time. Well my ass is off to bed.

Word mofo's... word.

"You're my only friend abazaba" - Dave Chappelle

I just finished watching a movie called Puddle Cruiser... that movie is damn funny. It was the first movie that Broken Lizard (Super Troopers and Club Dread) came out with. Some of the party scenes are hysterical... they can stand still and talk so they have to sway back and forth and I was just rolling. White men definitely cannot dance. They actually had a pretty hot chick in it and she had the southern accent which is always good... strange considering she was suppposed to be a native "New Yorker" in the movie, but who am I to judge.

I also saw Munich today... that movie was pretty damn powerful. I would put it up there with my favorites of the year, but it still can't beat Crash. That movie was just to damn good.

Currently I'm so bored I'm actually watching some dumb ass show called Room Raiders on MTV, but it is a "Texas" version I guess. Haha one of the guyss that lost is pissed cause she saw his porn. He was like "I'm a red blooded american and I like filty nasty, nasty filthy porn". I feel like I have an IQ of about 50 after watching this show though...

Is it just me or are these damn Charmin Ultra commercials with the freaking bears the dumbest damn things... He runs there and grabs a ton of ol' TP and then the dad comes and rolls it back up and gives him like 4 squares cause they are more "absorbant." Does that creep anyone else out that he's taking a crap outside right in front of him? The worst is the damn smile/head thing they do when they're "waxing the skis"... ehh that creeps me out.

Word mofo's... word

"There were two sides to that billboard... and they both hurt equally" - Steve Carell

Is it just me or anyone else getting annoyed as hell with Star Jones? Wow... you lost weight after you weighed about 300+ pounds. I'm very impressed, but all of a sudden she has so much to say. She didn't do most of that the hard way that's for sure. I heard her say she worked for it, but I don't believe it... have you seen her? She looks like her face has been stretched like Joan Rivers... and that crap is freaky. She looks like she's got about 50 pounds of make up on, I mean it's like she has curtains over her eyes.

For a long time I've always wanted to dig up enough sand to place someone in the hole and then cover it all up but there head. I'm not talking like the dumb crap kids do at a beach. I'm talking like 5-6 feet deep. Then like wet it and let it dry and see if they can get out of it. As I read this and see what I put I don't exactly know where on earth that came from at all. To be perfectly honest when I wrote it was the first time I thought of it.

I've also wanted to have a desk in the middle of a room with some chairs in front of it. I could then hold a meeting and do one of thos dumb "tapping the face" moves and act like I'm actually paying attention, but in all reality I'm watching a movie on my computer with no audio. I could probably pull that off the first couple of times, but after awhile I'm sure it would become quite obvious.

When I was in the second grade my friend Jeff Smith and I were convinced that we could sell our dinosaur tracings on the blackmarket for millions of dollars. If that had panned out I'd be one rich ass mofo, but of course as everyone realizes later in life they were just plain dumb. He called me book mark... that annoyed the hell out of me. Currently Smith's favorite thing to say is "Dusting off the Uncle Bucks,"... I'll let you figure out what it means.

"Were they built for speed or for comfort? You do the motorboat? You do the motorboat with them?" Vince Vaughn

Well this is my first post in a hell of a long ass time. Generally I would figure that there was an excuse, but truth be told... I'm just a lazy ass and that's how I roll.

For some strange reason I've become obsessed with the song Heat of the Moment by Asia. First I saw it on one of those stupid infomercials about the 80s music and was like "Hmm... that isn't bad" and then it just got stuck in there. Next I buy The 40 Year Old Virgin and like Emeril "bam" it was at the end when he found out that there were two sides to the billboard and that they both hurt equally. By the way if you haven't seen that movie you need to, absolutely hilarious. In the bonus material they show that the "You know how I know you're gay?" was totally made up on the fly. They were originally talking about the one dude's novel and Paul Rudd just started talking. My personal favorite was the "You know how I know that you're gay? You like Coldplay." I can't help but laugh at that... damn funny. Of course the hair removal part was freaking priceless. Steve Carrel was like "Ohh it won't be that bad at all," and then after it he was like "I really wasn't expecting it to hurt that bad," hell he started to bleed after awhile.

Well the College Bowl season has ended with the Texas Longhorns being victorious over the so called "Greatest" NCAA Football team in history. As much as I don't like the Longhorns I was so happy they won just to shut up the media and their USC love fest. What I really loved was the press conference at the end where Matt Linert said that Texas didn't earn they win, USC let it slip away. Maybe it was just me, but he sucked ass in that game and Vince Young could do absolutely no wrong. He torn them a new ass.

Well I'm finally back to work after a long time of no sports happening so I finally have something to do. This week I have to meet with the baseball and softball coaching staffs to help film and log their headshots for the upcoming season. The best part about it is the players come in and try to get the coach to mess up... they always get it a few times and some funny stuff comes out of it. We had Berry talking about Anchorman and he did something and it made it up on the board. Told us that it made him look like an idiot and not serious, but his mother told him to have us keep it cause she loved it.

Currently my life is boring as hell and I'm trying to get up to Houston sometime to get totally smashed with my old roommate Rhet. We are even gonna see if we can get Clint's ass to join us. Should be entertaining as I see the next crop of America's doctors in an inebriated state... muhahaha.